Event - Movember!

I know it's special holiday today. One where you'll be dressing up, going door to door, and gorging your faces on treats (my age demographic is 6-11 right?) but there's a new holiday event in town. It lasts a whoooole month and there's no crappy pink ribbons associated with it. No, I love you breast cancer month you and your ribbons! But: Men's Health (and I'm not talking about the magazine) needs to get a lil' press.
Movember (the month formerly known as November) is a month long charity event to raise awareness for men's health. You register your team you raise some funds and all that awareness 'noise' for man health. You know man deseases of the balls, the prostate, and the wang? To quote the website "men are far less healthy than women. The average life expectancy for men is five years less than women (presently 77 compared to 82). Of the 15 leading causes of death among Canadians, men lead women in 14 of the causes. Men are 30% more likely to get cancer, than women, and 55% more likely to die from it. Men's suicide rate is four times higher than that of women." There's an obvious answer: society says real men don't go in for testing. Luckily though society also says real men grow moustaches and men believeing in health and growing moustaches? Well that's just good for everyone. Except Hitler and Stalin...or rather, the people they killed.
Hilariously they have re-appropriated the word "mo" formerly short for "homo", now short for moustache. But hells, they can have it if some dollars are going to be raised to stop cancer. Especially if in the process some guys think: I need to go in for a check-up. So grow a mo', support a mo', or just be mo' aware of your health.

Fiiine it's halloween and who would I be if I didn't give you what you wanted? No, not candy. Some kick-ass spooky music videos:

Peaches and Iggy Pop fight Zombies in KICK IT


CSS are in a Bloody Dress-up Battle in ALALA


And click here for a classic.

Story Time - 99 balloons of sad

Correspondant and chief blog photographer Timothy Richard sent this story as told on the Oprah show. He reports "Oprah, Celine and I were all weeping over this clip yesterday" ... he may not want me to have written that. Let's keep it between you and I. But to be honest: I cried a little too.

News - Paperclips

There's a lot of times that I catch myself being a jerk about something. It comes with the territory of not keeping quiet about issues with logic. I try to cover it up by being witty or clever, but sometimes there is egg on my face.
Like the headline declaring that paperclips in a circle around the citadel were being linked to remember the holocaust. Really? Paper clips? Paper cranes makes sense for Hiroshima at least they're a symbol for peace and plus there is that story that breaks your heart about a girl dying of radiation after the blast. But Paper Clips?
Then I found it on my old pal Wiki -- this is a big deal. Paper clips although (I still argue) is a loose connection they're so disproportionate to a life. An entire life represented by such a small insignificant thing, something that takes hundreds to look like anything, thousands to look like a pile. But when you link 11,000,000 with the knowledge that each one is a Jew, a Gypsie, a Jehovah's Witness, a political prisoner, a homosexual, an anti-Nazi. You get the scope--and your mind is blown.
Then, when you look at the small town in the Southern United States where this project started. The Southern United States where we all think of KKK members going out to tea and a nightly cross-burning. You realize hate, intolerance and a culture of fear still exists--and we can't let it.

Advice - Write into Ian. Please.

Hello all my wonderful readers. Something terrible happened this week. Despite your love of the blog you have failed me and send me know letters seeking out advice. Now I know that there is a possibility is was because you did not see my email (did I mention it's Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com). In case you didn't see it there it is! So easy just click and send. But until next week (when I will obviously have a flood of emails from you (right?) I will go back to my old stand-by: Ian answers other people's mail. So this week I crack some answers open for a question some other people have already answered:

I am currently going through a break-up with my fiancée. We have been engaged for 1 year and were supposed to get married this coming May.
However, we have been dealing with a recurring problem for 2 years that has caused all kinds of problems. This is obviously a trust issue.
It all began when I had the habit of staring (at women), and I did not realize I was doing it until she came down on me for doing so. I immediately agreed to it, but she started to feel insecure about herself and blamed me for it.
Then, I switched jobs to where a friend of my older sister worked. I knew her from a long time and had a cordial relationship (work relationship).
My fiancée started to accuse me of having a crush on her because supposedly, I spoke about her a lot. Anyway, I got really annoyed at the situation and I started trying to protect her from her insecurities.
The worst thing I could have ever done was when we all had a work trip to the UK, in which this girl had to go as well, and I decided to tell my fiancée that she was not going so I did not have to make her upset.
Well, the trip got cancelled and I accidentally told her that we we're not going and since then, she thinks that I was planning on doing something to her with this other girl. What can I do?
I tried to make things easier and somehow it came out worse. There are other similar cases but she cannot get over these insecurities. The fact is that I am so in-love with my fiancee and have been trying to make her happy and spend all of the time with her.
She recently told me that she wanted time because she feels bad about herself, not pretty enough, and thinks that I am not into her when the reality is the COMPLETE opposite. It has been over 2 weeks and I tried talking to her but it gets worse. What can I do?
I love this woman with everything I've got and don't want to have to end this when we are 2 people that love each other so much. I did speak with her mother and she suggested that I stay away as I was being to available to her?!?!
What can I do? I love her to death and I am feeling like somebody cut my heart out.
Please excuse the length of this e-mail. Any suggestions as what I can do will be greatly appreciated.

Dear 'Married in May you'll rue the day'
Well, right off the bat I have to say: "what the fuck were you thinking?!" You 'love her to death' yet you lied about a business trip? For what purpose? Why, why, why?
First of all to address your wandering eye, the fact that she called you on it was bad taste on your part. To say that when you enter a relationship you never think about what it would be like with another person is ludicrous. Of course you will notice the attractiveness of another person, but commitment is based on refraining to act on this attraction and having the good taste not to discuss the attractiveness of the other person or be caught looking at the other person. A lot of people for this reason are chill with porn in a relationship. As much as you stare at those images, your hands are tied from acting on it because they have no idea who you are...annd no one looks that airbrushed in real life.
That said, it sounds to me like her insecurities are beyond a few glances and nice conversation with another woman. In the high stress of marriage on the horizon you not-looking like the exemplary version of a long-term model gave her second thoughts and insecurity. And maybe you're not ready if you didn't pay her the decency of being totally honest and transparent, and she wasn't mature enough to take you at your word.
Those conversations, and an intense work relationship still counts as emotional infidelity. Just because you weren't sleeping with her you coming home and talking about great work conversations with this woman to your fiancee -- rather than having a great conversation with your fiancee was stupid, stupid, stupid.
So it's over for good reason. You both need to learn from this and move on. She will hold you on a leash for your past indiscretions and you will feel badgered unless you both get a fresh start. And for the love of all that's good, don't end up with this work friend unless you want to be found murdered in your bed by an ex-fiancee. I have been watching a lot of unsolved mysteries, I know how it works.

You can get some Ian advice by writing Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com The advice column runs on Tuesday so have your letter in by Sunday.

Favorite Things - Last Saturday night!

Hey, it was great to see you Saturday night. If you didn't go, we're not friends anymore. The pop explosion closer was a party and a half! If you missed out, our friendship can be rekindled when you listen to the whole kit and kaboodle being posted to cbc radio 3 as of next week. Keep your eyes peeled.

Dance Party- Fabulous secret powers!

You're coming to the pop explosion tonight? Oh great see you there. I'll be the one dancing like this:


Unrelated content***

On the topic of me being an otter-bear as discussed October 10th, correspondent Stephanie Dotto has this to add:

Titled: Gay Marine Animals
So I was talking to one of the PhD students in my program. He was once a married ornithologist and now he is a gay playwright. Hilarity.
Anyways, he was discussing bears and I asked him if he knew of otters. He said he indeed did. However he said that seals are less hairy otters therefore I believe you to be a seal! Like Seabert!

I have to disagree Stephanie. I am rugged, robust and hearty. Seal? Pah they are weak! Sea-LION faaar more likely.

Events- Zine Fair!

The Halifax Zine Fair is tomorrow! For those who don't know a zine is a mini-magazine filled with art, poems, and other sometimes good/sometimes not nonsense. More of a mix of scrapbooking and a pamphlet Zines are the ultimate power tool of the trendbot, fighting the man with its self produced limited edition awesomeness. Check it out at:

Halifax Zine and Record Fair
Saturday October 25th 2008, noon-5pm
St. David's Church Hall, 1537 Brunswick Street, Halifax
This year it's FREE!
brought to you by the Halifax Pop Explosion and Anchor Archive Zine Library

ps. don't forget about the pop explosion fools!

Story Time- Reading

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much less I've been reading. As a kid I picked up books and just devoured them, loving the far off places and adventures they had the potential to take me on. That's what we always tell kids right? A book will take you on an adventure! An adventure! Last time I checked sitting at home on my bed reading series of books does not stand out in my mind as a defining point in my adolescent life. I think that's probably what made me a little socially awkward and gave me a total lack of interest in the opposite sex. Reading made me gay.
I read books it takes me a week to finish now because they are practical. I can fit them into my schedule. I know when I begin it when I will be finished it. I read books that are funny because I like to laugh, I think they have a light perspective on the world and they're a nice contrast to the news, I read books with interesting opinions and facts--and yes--I read books with some sex in them. Because with all of its similes and metaphors book sex is pretty much the pinnacle of humour. Rubyfruit Jungle wins for incorporating a hilarious vagina metaphor into its title.
But am I reading enough of them? Probably not. My mother used to always read romance novels when I was a child and my father war stories and I never understood them. I thought: why aren't you reading great works of literature? Now I realize after years of schooling: because they're probably obtuse, boring, and after you figure out what the hell is going on, you'll be a little disappointing with the time wasted.
I've discussed this with a friend and we agree this doesn't mean reading is dead. People read emails all day, people read the internet all day. But the adventure we go on is the ultimate 'choose your own adventure'. If I want information I can have it moments later, I can read exactly what I want to. I can preach to myself (the converted) what I want to hear--and that's what makes me uneasy because we've become a culture of educated people preaching to themselves. Plays are put on for actors, liberal television media preach to the liberally educated, conservative media to the conservatives.
But...I like what I read now, school's no longer forcing me to read Lois Lowry's The Giver and as much as I respect the Giller prize I know I'll be more intrigued to read a book that has some bright colours and "heels on the cover" as one friend phrased it.
One man has taken it upon himself to mail Stephen Harper some quality books to make him a better person. But looking over the list and spotting Beckett and Strinberg I have to ask the question: do you want him to commit suicide after reading some of the most bleak authors of-- uhhh I would say: ever? And who is this man who is sending the prime minister a new library? This brilliant witty gesture is created by none other than Yann Martel, author of Life of Pi. Yann, I didn't like your book (too many animals), but I salute you. You read those books, you loved them and you told someone else who mattered. Rather than sending it off to your leftist commie friends, you wrote the fucking prime minister.
But what about other important books the prime minister should be reading? Ones that are a little sexier, ones that I should be reading and then also sending to the prime minister. Please post your responses here. I need me a good book. No historical romantic fiction or fantasy need apply.

News - Liberal Leader

With most of you aware that the liberals did not win the most recent election it was no surprise that Stéphane Dion announced that he would be stepping down as liberal party leader on Monday. In case you didn't see 'The Hour' on Monday night with George Strombo he ripped him to shreds as being one of the only Liberal leaders in history to not be elected Prime Minister. It verged on uncomfortable. But hey, 75 seats is a pretty shitty showing and not nearly enough for an effective opposition. But not to worry, he tore into Jean Chrétien as well. To be fair he tore into the liberals in general. Soo if you think they need a better leader (and hey you don't need to become "liberal" you can just join and vote for a quality leader to the party). Check out the contenders here.


***Unrelated:
I'd like to welcome two real Mullington's to the facebook fan page as well as some other person I've never met named Aaron. If you're actually reading then: welcome.

Advice - Unemployed

Dear Ian,
I have a job interview next week and I really really want the job! What can I do
to prepare for this? How can I present myself well over the phone? How can I
make myself stand out from the other applicants when I have very little actual
experience?
-Hopelessly Unemployed

Dear Hopeless,
A lot of people will prattle on about how the phone is so great because you can be dressed in a bathrobe to take a call from the president. Granted this is true and fantastic, but if you had a phone call from someone important (me, for instance) it would be difficult to think of anything besides the fact that: hey, I'm in a bathrobe talking to someone important. So my first piece of advice would be feel great and look great. Shower, dress in comfortable clothes, eat properly that morning and in every way be psychologically ready for that phone interview as if you were meeting the person. You don't need to put on a business suit and tie, but if you're hanging out in sweats with a stain down your front and feeling gross you're probably going to betray yourself in the interview as someone who sounds like they hang out in sweats all day.
My next big piece of advice is take an interest in the interviewer. Yes, you're going to have all of your notes down in front of you. You will have (I assume) read as much as you can about the company online, copied out little tid-bits to drop in the conversation to prove how well-informed you are but sometimes it doesn't hurt to connect with the person on the other line. Asking how they got into the career field at the end of an interview is a nice way to connect with them, hear them at ease, and get advice for how you can find your place. Perhaps the conversation will allow you to show yourself as someone they would get along with--the perfect leg up if all other things are equal.
Lastly, I work three jobs. Obviously I work three jobs because financially I need to work three jobs. So if I were really that great at interviews I may have gotten somewhere by now. What it comes down to sometimes is plain and simple luck. Do they like the way you sound? Does something on your resume pop for them? Do you have something no one else has? Be yourself, be friendly, be informed and don't be worried. If it's a right fit that's their decision. Worry will only make you sound unconfident and heavy breathing will make you sound like a street-walker.

You can get some Ian lovin' by writing Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com. Ian's policy is to answer every single letter on the blog. So write me one!

Favorite Things - Homestarrunner

No one goes anymore but homestarrunner is still a decent website. Flash based toons seemed to be bigger a couple years ago before youtube ate the internet. But you still can't go wrong with an episode of teen girl squad, or a strong bad email.

Dance Party- Video Dancing!

Felix da Housecat - Rocket Ride

Peaches - Fuck the pain away

The Rapture - WAYUH

Upcoming Events- The apocalypse!

Just to let you all know. But now there is a movement after the false alarms saying all will be over December 21st 2012 because that's when the Mayan calendar times out. So don't worry about stock markets, finding love, finishing writing that book cause in four years it'll be done!
But here's the real sign of the apocalypse, no horseman or anything. No, it's that abc's wife swap is looking for a family who believes this Mayan prediction that around Christmas in four years it'll all be over:

2008-04-18 19:38:49

Hello,
Are you a family that is actively preparing for the year 2012? The hit reality show, Wife Swap, which airs on ABC Television's primetime line-up, is looking for outgoing and unique families to feature on our show. Specifically, we're looking for families who believe in the Mayan calendar and are currently preparing in some way for December 21, 2012. Please feel free to forward this email on to any families you think would be interested in taking part in this experience, even if they're not necessarily preparing for the year 2012, we still love hearing from families with unique perspectives on life!
In case you are unfamiliar with the show, the premise of Wife Swap is to take two different families and have the moms switch places to experience how another family lives. Half of the week, mom lives the life of the family she is staying with. After making her observations, she introduces several "rule changes," where she implements rules and activities that are important to her family. It's a positive experience for people to not only learn but teach about other families and other ways of life. Wife Swap airs on Disney owned ABC television on Wednesdays at 8 pm- the family hour!
Requirements: Each family must consist of two parents and at least one child between 7 and 17 and should reside in the continental U.S. (There may be other children living in the home who are older or younger than the required age?as long as one child is in the required age range.)
Participating in the show is a very unique experience that can be life changing for everyone. n addition, each family that tapes an episode of Wife Swap receives $20,000 as compensation for their time. Anyone who refers a family that appears on our program receives $1000 as a 'thank you' from us.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me by email, danielle@apocalypse2012.com! If you're interested in learning more, please include your contact information. *Please note: If you were emailed or referred for this opportunity, please indicate that when you call or email me =)
Thank you for your time,
Danielle Gervais
Casting Producer, Wife Swap
danielle@apocalypse2012.com

Story time- Essays!

Remember High School essays? The quality was out of this world.

News- And the winner is...

Who do you think I am? Obviously the big news today is the Canadian election, but I can't be bothered with waking up early and writing all of my thoughts and feelings about the whole process. You know who won and that is all that matters.

My prediction? We are waking up to a conservative majority. Why? Because there are about one billion left wing parties and a "united right." I am now clear on why The Americans have a two party system, after a while the fundamental core values sort of bubble and simmer into a stew of "left" and a stew of "right" and for those people not around during the french revolution and wondering how we decided on this dogleg government it has everything to do with where people of certain values sat in the newly formed government. At least that's how I remember my high school history teacher explaining it -- go public school education.

So what does this new government mean left/right or otherwise? Hey maybe hell has frozen over and Jack Layton somehow squeaked into the prime minister's seat. He'll be so much easier to parody with his silver moustache and crazy arm movements.

Well fuck, if it's conservative it will be sad. I am hoping for a second conservative minority on the sly just so we can wake up tomorrow (I mean today--ehh the illusion is spoiled), see that nothing has changed, see that we have spend billions on an election during a recession and just be happy that democracy hasn't failed us. It's just delivered a big "fuck you" to Harper...but honestly speaking: conservative majority. Then as the numbers role in and people see the disconnect of the popular vote to the results (the hot topic this year) there will be a movement to change Canadian politics. Harper may not be on board, but if the allowance of Elizabeth May at the debate is an indication representational democracy may be having a facelift soon. Because when you win 10% of the Canadian people's love and get no seats--well, that shit is crazy.

Update Oct 15th 9am***
Conservative minority? Wait wasn't that just like...yesterday. It was just like yesterday.

Advice- To the advisors out there.

Dear Ian,
I seem to be falling into a pattern lately. It seems that I have been attracting very needy, clingy individuals. I try to be a friendly person and treat everyone with dignity and respect, but it turns out I am quickly becoming a hospital for wounded souls. Now, I've checked my facebook and no where does it say, "Are you lonely? Need someone to talk to? Message me and/or find me in person you random facebook creeper!" So what is going on here? I can't change who I am, and I would feel so guilty hurting anyone.
Uber Scared of Everything Desperate

Dear Desperate,
My attention is drawn to "I would feel so guilty hurting anyone." That is not always the best plan when you give advice. "Dignity", "respect" these are important things to keep in mind when dishing your views and attitudes, but sometimes it's good to be realistic, no-nonsense and cut to the point. Maybe these clingy friends come to you because you're going to tell them it'll be all-right, that all their decisions have been good ones, and that they are a beautiful unique blah blah blah. Right, I agree--kind of. You don't tell a seven year old the reason she's failing math is maybe she's not good at it and she should focus on her strengths...like playing house. She's seven, maybe she's not good at it but you need grade nine math to survive in the world (hard or not hard) and playing house will not pay for a house.
These people you talk to--I doubt they're kids anymore. If they make the same mistakes call them on it. If they are seeking you out as some "hospital for wounded souls" wound their soul some more, get them on the defensive because if they're defensive they're going to do something for themselves--something you don't have to hold their hand through. Or sometimes you need to say: "maybe you're not good at that" or "maybe you should stop doing that." At this point they have the basic building blocks of living. They are familiar with the concept of right and wrong and what works for them. If they are looking for advice it can be broken into four solutions 1) Stop doing it 2) Keep doing it 3) Manage it 4) Shut the fuck up and stop complaining. Often people imagine a fifth option, the: Listen to me rant about this. The fifth option is a short term option which you should tolerate for one week, tell them your piece and wash your hands of it. You get dragged in (in a bad way) when you're constantly being asked approval for each petty piece of the puzzle.
For problems that have solutions tell them your course of action in very defined terms and be done with it. I know that some people have issues with depression and counseling or medication is the proper route. But giving someone advice to seek that advice is still good advice. Don't get sucked in.

You can write to Ian for advice at Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com I will respond to all letters.

Favorite things- Global movements

This was pointed out to me a while ago by a friend. It's serious. Rather than all this bullshit about praying and prayers the concept is simple: everyone orgasms at 12:04 GMT on December 21st and some shit gets done. I'm not really certain how it happens, or why but the site really makes me want to join a global movement. And it's is hella better than the one where you have to turn off your lights. Please.

Dance Party - Fashion Dance

Fashion dancing is a term coined by my friend Lindsay-- or her friend Colin. Or is this common knowledge? No matter. It's when you dance dispassionately no expression and little movement putting the focus on what you're wearing rather than drawing attention to any ability (or inability) to dance. The songs below are ideal candidates.

The Faint - Southern Belles in London Sing

The Streets - Fit but you know it

CSS-Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above

Upcoming Events - Nocturne

This will either suck or be awesome. I'll be away this weekend but I'd go to it if I was here. Running October 18th from 6-12pm this art extravaganza is modeled after other "light up the night" style festivals only with a better name and more art. Nocturne promises to be a good time.

Unfortunately I think there will be a very high ratio of shitty poorly thought art to good art. Expect data projectors, gobos, and christmas lights.

I also question if it will be half-assed. I can picture people afraid to use energy not really doing that much of anything and aside from a few twinkly lights the streets of Halifax will remain the same as always.

You should go though and report back. I can't be there so if anyone sends me a hilarious review I'll print it the following week.

***Unrelated content:
NetBear wrote me back! Pretty much the best day ever. For those of you who read the blog infrequently or are not in the habit of ever going to back issues, a bear responded to my Monday entry about the beard hat image I used that came from his site, I then asked him the specifics of his hilariously named "Bearotic" site:

Thanks Ian. I appreciate your adding the link.
You see the image you are using in the article is actually being served-up by OUR SERVER, not yours. The image is coming from www.bearotic.com. So technically we're paying to have that image display on your site. (gasp) That said, a lot of people seem to embed other people's graphics. But it's not a very advisable practice since we could have our server display evil things on your site. Heh. A better route would be to save your own copy of the image and display it that way.
Regarding what is bear or not... Bearotic isn't just bear related stuff. It's entertainment for bears. Since many many bears are into theater they enjoy reading about Daniel Radcliffe getting naked in Equus. Actually most of the known universe seems to be interested in that. LOL. So it's not so much that Daniel is a bear. But he is interesting to bears in the entertainment sense.
As for bears vs otters vs polar bears, etc., people love to categorize. And also people love to label. So we come up with things like pocket bears for short guys and otters for not so portly guys. Meh... At Bearotic we like the expression, "If you think you're a bear, then you are." That spirit is reflected in quad-color logo with the changing faces on Bearotic. We try to embrace the entire bear community.
Hope this helps clear things up. ;-)
NetBear

Lessons to take home: 1) Bears are also hairy gay men who like Harry Potter, 2) Bears are awesome, 3) I have decided I am an Otter bear -- which is no sort of bear at all, except in the gay world where otters ARE bears. 4) I am vague now on if my childhood teddy was a portly hairy gay man, or a stuffed animal 5) Link to the website I find images on, and draw it to the webmasters attention. 6) I want to refer to someone as a "pocket bear" 7) Why bears? Why not gorillas?

Story Time - Gummi Bears

Magic and mysteries a part of their history, along with the secret of gummi berry (bearie?) juice. In honour of pretty much the greatest story ever told I present an episode of gummi bears:

Part 1

Part 2


Man I can't even top the gummi bears. But for those wishing to revisit the remixed childhood versions of things check out garfield minus garfield and HeMan singing techno.

News - Sarah Palin

She speaks for herself:

No, actually she doesn't. Is this serious? Really? Republican's keep calling this "gotcha" journalism saying what Couric did was wrong. What's wrong is that Sarah Palin could be a heart-attack away from being President. Really? A supreme court decision she was upset by? Okay she couldn't think of one -- she could have said a supreme court case she was impressed by! Or something! How dare she lord her morals over people with a pregnant daughter, a corrupt political record, and questionable intelligence?

Where as this is our election:


...uhh, I don't even know what to say about that.

Advice - haggard

Dear Ian:
I am a 33 year old gay man who recently begun dating a 23 year old guy. We have been on three dates so far, and things are going great. He tells me that I'm really sweet and that he really likes me. I feel the same way about him. My problem though is that I have been in this situation with different guys (almost always considerably younger than I am by the way) tons of times over the years. Things never work out for more than a couple months. I can't help but assume that things will end up the same way this time, even though I'm very happy now. How do I deal with being old and jaded while he is young and optimistic?

Dear No Name,
Your age difference is reasonable. More than a decade and you're pushing it, under five years and I don't think you should consider it worthy of mention. But people are probably going to notice right? You're going to naturally look more haggard than him and, when it comes down to it, you were raised in different realities. For you coming out in high school was just not done-- 1993? He may have been out since high school. Happily out in High School if I believe my siblings who seem to have out gay friends and are still juveniles.
You mention that you've been in the same situation "tons of times" over the years but they never work out for more than a couple months. The common factor in that story is you. Is he meeting you in the middle and being more mature for your sake, or are you acting like a 23 year old and that's why you keep dating younger men? Could you see yourself with a 43 year old man? Because in order for this to last he needs to see himself with one--you in ten years.
A relationship with an age difference is still a relationship. If you focus on the age difference as an issue then it will be an issue. If when you mention dating younger men you mean they are always ten years younger, then fine eventually a ten year difference will work out. But if this a trend--as in at twenty-five you dated twenty-three at twenty-nine you dated twenty-three at thirty-one you dated twenty-three. Then eventually you're going to need to mature past twenty-three, or start shelling out cash for some hos. Even if you don't think you're doing it, you might not looking for a younger model but looking for a fresh start. Did you come out at around 20-23? Are you focused on that age because of it? Maybe. Just sayin'.
Of course this leaves the guy out of it, ignores my straight readership and is waaay too cynical. Just return the favour, when he expresses his love express it back. Take the days at face value, and double check--are you with younger guys because that's your taste, or is it fate that brought you together and one happens to be younger? Keep stock that I'm 8 years younger than my boyfriend and I think he's the bees knees...age difference is only the problem if you think it is.

I am always looking for more letters seeking advice. Your identity will not be revealed and I promise I'll reply to every single letter on the blog. At this point I'm not famous enough to worry there will ever be too many. Maybe you're a straight woman, a straight man? They seem to be under-represented so far. Email me at Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com.
Also, I'm going to be doing a financial advice column soon with the help of the blog's financial market researcher Terry Parsons (interviewed in the September 24th edition of the blog) so send in your money problems and we'll try to help. Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com -- any advice you need? I gots.

Favorite things - Beards

I quite enjoy beards. They're practical, they instantly make someone's face more attractive, they are a valuable storage place for savory crumbs and lastly they are awesome. Not lastly: I also hate shaving. Sadly,the best beard I can accomplish is fails on two counts: 1) it's patchier than Shia Labeouf on a bad day and 2) It is so light in colour that it just looks like I have some dirt on my face rather than the rugged playoff beard it's supposed to resemble.

Luckily for me (and women who have also always wanted beards) there is a solution. A beard hat:

you can sport such fashion styles as




the viking look





OR




The hobo look




Both are awesome. Unfortunately they cost $130, something faaar too expensive for a novelty that would wear off in mere moments. If hovever a reader of Mullington were to have the talents to make such a hat, I suggest they make one and send in a photo of them sporting it. Or better yet, send me the hat! I will post all beard related articles and or paraphanalia.

So in short: beards.

*** Update Oct/07/08 after NetBear called me out on where I got the hobo-beard-hat picture here's a link to the article. I know my readership has a large Bear fan base, though if someone could please explain the difference between bear, otter, polar bear, blah blah blah it would be appreciated. Like how come Daniel Radcliffe counts as a bear on this website? It the criterion now: anyone with body hair? My readership wants to know. And on that count I invite all my readers to write me at Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com.

Dance Party - life's been busy.

short dance party.

but really, need there be another song?

Events - Pop Explode!

The schedule is here! Even if you work early mornings, even if you hate live awesome music you need to go. Now I know what you're thinking: Ian, there are SO many shows I can't be in two places at once so can you just give me a run-down of where I should be each night? And keep in mind I'm livin' on a budget. And to you I will say--okay.

Night one- Tuesday October 21st
You're going to be going to Gus's Pub up at the corner of North and Agricola. It's six bucks for some stack-up bands and I don't really want you to break the bank on the Marquee right away. CR Avery from Vancouver, Modern Boys Modern Girls and Don Vail from the GTA, and Smothered in Hugs from Charlottetown. Some quality beats to get you out of your seat from across Canada.
Even if you don't go, go to their pages and listen to the music-they deserve a listen.

Night two- Wednesday October 22nd
Josh a friend and future father is playing at Gus's with the VKNGS. They are loud. I feel the need to give a shout out. Please check them out, if you enjoy them you may "choose your own adventure" and divert from my suggestions just this once. They may shake Gus's from its foundations. But if you don't want to deal with the loud party just yet, hold onto your hat they are my recommendation for Friday.
Otherwise, we're headed to The Seahorse on Argyle Street to see Grand Analog for six dollars...well, you are. I'm probably taking the evening off. And by off, I mean working and then going home to bed. He sounds like a quality party and although you will have an increased likelyhood of running into women who persue younger men (known as a "cougars"), it is worth the danger of being bitten.

Night three- Thursday October 23rd
You're going to the Marquee! Going, going, going to the Marquee! Downstairs to Hell's Kitchen! Look I'm not going to make up your mind for you in this case because downstairs or upstairs I don't really think you've made a bad decision.
Upstairs is going to run you $16adv/$20door which is why I suggest downstairs for $6, you're trying to see as much as possible right? You still want to head out Saturday night right? But if you still think upstairs is where it's at you'll get to see Murder Sounds, Code Pie, INSTRUMENTS, Windom Earle, and Holy Fuck. Is it worth it? Yeah it's pretty worth it. But so is downstairs for half price where you'll see Matt Reid and Friends, Pete Samples, the outrageous A/V (who I have seen play wildly for 15 people-he is committed to his craft), the Beginners, and the "better than upstairs" Superfantastics. Thursday promises equal party.

Night four- Friday October 24th
You're not drinking tonight, because you're going to an all-ages party. Don't try to pick up either unless you're also interested in jail time. There will probably be some young-ins at this $6 partial recreation of the documentary 6015 Willow taking place at the North Street Church (no longer a church, so satanists need not fear combustion). Here you will see an odd assortment: The Go to Get Got, VKNGS(with previously mentioned Josh Kogon), The Maynards (who will always have a little piece of my heart), and Play Guitar. It will equal awesome.

Night five- Saturday October 25th
Good you didn't drink last night because today's "night" is beginning in the AM! You're waking up to boot your bottom to the 'Just Friends Brunch' taking place at Gus's pub. $5 for admission $6-7.50 for breakfast this is a cute fust you can drag your mom-who 'hates staying up late but misses the music'-to. Playing will be Laura Peek, Mike Evin, and The Stance (the last band I ever saw while still in University back in Sackville). Delicious. And it's at a bar so some people indulge in a morning drink--if you really hated your previous night's sobriety now's when to catch up.
And for the closing night, to kiss it all goodbye, to finish the evening, the week, the excitement you are going back to the Marquee and partying late like a good kid. Ruby Coast, The Got to Get Got (who you may have seen last night), Sebastien Grainger, and Islands. This is the night to go to see the next big thing. This is the night I went in 2004 to see Arcade Fire just before they ate the world. CBC Radio 3 will be there recording, and there's always something being given away--I got a CD last year! If you go no other night, go this night. $13adv/$18 door.

Okay. I'm telling you early so you can prepare, save up sleep and be ready. Because you need to be ready to Explode!

Story Time - Jack and Jill

I started writing scenes for a two-hander about fraternal twins a while ago. Here's a scene:

JILL: What are you doing?

JACK: I'm throwing out the dishes. They're dirty, I'm throwing them out.

JILL: You're not washing the dishes?

JACK: No I'm not washing the dishes.

JILL: They're not paper dishes Jack.
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JACK: No, they're not.
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JILL: You can't just throw out perfectly good dishes.
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JACK: But they're not my dishes, they're mom's and mom isn't washing them so I'm throwing them out.

JILL: We should give them away.

JACK: Who wants dirty dishes?

JILL: We'd clean them.

JACK: Who?

JILL: Us.

JACK: They're not my dishes. I don't do other people's dishes.

JILL: They're mom's.

JACK: Exactly, they're mom's and if mom had washed them before she'd left and put them in a box and brought them to the salvation army...
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JILL: Why can't we do them? That that's what good kids would--

JACK: Good kids listen to their mother Jillian.

JILL: And what was her advice for these dishes?
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JACK: That they would be dirty. That was how she left them and that is how they will stay, for all eternity, in a dump. Along with her salt and pepper collection.

JILL: No!

JACK: Well you weren't going to keep them.

JILL: No, but I thought --No, stop it--I thought of them as a, I don't know...

JACK: We don't want them Jill I guarantee the next generation won't want them any more. If you keep something for long enough you start thinking it's important. Even if it's junk.

JILL: It's nostalgic.

JACK: It's what homeless people do. Should we start collecting broken faced dolls, pop cans, and old newpapers?
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JILL: Fuck off. Have you filed a missing person's report?

JACK: I don't think there's a person to report.

JILL: Then why are you throwing out her stuff?

JACK: I haven't been here in weeks, you haven't been here in weeks. Who's to say no one's been here in a couple of weeks?

JILL: The dishes would have been moldier.

JACK: You're right, maybe mom went on a business trip. Infirm elderly agoraphobics often go on business trips and leave their dishes in the sink. If she comes back she's not staying here and if she doesn't? There's no need to draw attention to our neglect.

JILL: We're awful children.

News - Your election candidates! (if you're me)

If you're a Haligonian-- REAL Halifax not over in Dartmouth-- then these are probably your candidates as well. If you're not certain or you have come to realize that you are not living in Halifax you can check for your candidates here. It's a little confusing: first enter your postal code and click "go" you'll be taken to a second screen, on the right under candidates click "who are the candidates in my electoral district?"

This year the government has created this handy website where you can also find out "how many candidates are men and how many are women?" (2 women, 3 men) I ask: what about the trans people? Where are Ted Larson's rights I ask you? Not that I'm implying Ted is Trans, I'm just asking: are certain he's not? ... He's not. Don't come after me Ted.

LARSEN, Ted (Conservative)
Thankfully he is better than the original candidate the conservatives chose for this riding. You know, the one who was an ex-criminal and was caught stealing from the All Women Empowerment Organization she founded? Because nothing says empowerment like "$84,000 in cheques written to herself."
No, Ted is not half-bad. Halifax has been his home for 37 year and his photos show him as a bit of a sheepish guy. His blog is very succinct in its single entry and he kinda gets the picture that Halifax will not be choosing him in the upcoming election. Void of any information his website is geared more towards the party itself. Ted's issues are the party's issues, if you don't like the party don't vote for him. Thanks Ted, I won't.

LESLIE, Megan (NDP-New Democratic Party)
Megan has only lived in the city for seven years. Coming in the wake of Alexa Mcdonough former queen of the NDP party, she has big shoes to fill. She has a pretty swanky website though including a radio call in show she did on the 23rd and an impressive resume of volunteer and outreach work.
Respect if you vote for her--she's in my consideration. Her biggest issue right now though is her lack of visibility. Having only just won leader of the riding no one really knows who she is. In some ways I wonder if the similarly named Alexis MacDonald had won the candidacy people would have thought it was still headed by the former leader when they saw the ticket.

MEADE, Catherine (Liberal)
In a normal equal world I would be bedazzled by Catherine Meade. Not only is her last name a delicious alcoholic beverage (Honey Mead) which is, in part, the origin to the word "Honeymoon" but she also does such awesome things as show up to the market on Saturday morning to talk to people, she's a lesbian (and those bitches know how to get stuff done), and she is the daughter of a Baptist minister. Mostly I include the last one because I love the concept of raising my hands and shaking in church and not be told "you're making a scene".
My conundrum is the Liberal party campaign with headlines posted on their site reading"Can't Believe Steve": Why Harper Foreign Policy Fails the Test, Harper copied John Howard's speech on Iraq, Liberals launch new social networking website – i.liberal.ca, Statement from the Honourable Stéphane Dion on the challenges in global capital markets, Conservatives in culture damage control mode. Okay that is three attacks on the conservatives, one launch of a social networking site (which will only contain liberals? what are they going to do message eachother on how they all agree?), and a SINGLE article on policy.
I still really like her, I know that a campaign can't run without attacks so we can see how they stack up against eachother, and the NDP are flailing at coming up with practical plans since they've never been in power. But at the end of the day this riding is going to the Liberals or NDP, unless we accidentally split the vote and Madame Larson wins.

SEED, Tony (Marxist-Leninist)
Some students with a sense of irony or humour may vote for this guy but I'm not even going to give him a serious run-down. Lenin was mummified, Marx rocked a beard that would make Shia Leboeuf green with bad teenage beard syndrome envy.

WHETTER, Darryl (Green Party)
He's a creative writing prof at Dal. Seems perfectly nice. I wish him all the best and hope he gets some votes.

And that's it! Now all you have to do is make up your mind and vote October 14th. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me who you vote for just that you do. If you don't live in this riding, look up who is in your riding. Sometimes the NDP candidate is terrible, sometimes they're a friend. Sometimes the liberal candidate is in trouble with the law. Vote for the candidate. They'll be representing you. I argree mostly with voting for the party, but if the candidate is terrible they'll probably 1) not win and 2) be awful at representing you if they do win.

Rock the vote.