News - Sarah Palin

She speaks for herself:

No, actually she doesn't. Is this serious? Really? Republican's keep calling this "gotcha" journalism saying what Couric did was wrong. What's wrong is that Sarah Palin could be a heart-attack away from being President. Really? A supreme court decision she was upset by? Okay she couldn't think of one -- she could have said a supreme court case she was impressed by! Or something! How dare she lord her morals over people with a pregnant daughter, a corrupt political record, and questionable intelligence?

Where as this is our election:


...uhh, I don't even know what to say about that.

Advice - haggard

Dear Ian:
I am a 33 year old gay man who recently begun dating a 23 year old guy. We have been on three dates so far, and things are going great. He tells me that I'm really sweet and that he really likes me. I feel the same way about him. My problem though is that I have been in this situation with different guys (almost always considerably younger than I am by the way) tons of times over the years. Things never work out for more than a couple months. I can't help but assume that things will end up the same way this time, even though I'm very happy now. How do I deal with being old and jaded while he is young and optimistic?

Dear No Name,
Your age difference is reasonable. More than a decade and you're pushing it, under five years and I don't think you should consider it worthy of mention. But people are probably going to notice right? You're going to naturally look more haggard than him and, when it comes down to it, you were raised in different realities. For you coming out in high school was just not done-- 1993? He may have been out since high school. Happily out in High School if I believe my siblings who seem to have out gay friends and are still juveniles.
You mention that you've been in the same situation "tons of times" over the years but they never work out for more than a couple months. The common factor in that story is you. Is he meeting you in the middle and being more mature for your sake, or are you acting like a 23 year old and that's why you keep dating younger men? Could you see yourself with a 43 year old man? Because in order for this to last he needs to see himself with one--you in ten years.
A relationship with an age difference is still a relationship. If you focus on the age difference as an issue then it will be an issue. If when you mention dating younger men you mean they are always ten years younger, then fine eventually a ten year difference will work out. But if this a trend--as in at twenty-five you dated twenty-three at twenty-nine you dated twenty-three at thirty-one you dated twenty-three. Then eventually you're going to need to mature past twenty-three, or start shelling out cash for some hos. Even if you don't think you're doing it, you might not looking for a younger model but looking for a fresh start. Did you come out at around 20-23? Are you focused on that age because of it? Maybe. Just sayin'.
Of course this leaves the guy out of it, ignores my straight readership and is waaay too cynical. Just return the favour, when he expresses his love express it back. Take the days at face value, and double check--are you with younger guys because that's your taste, or is it fate that brought you together and one happens to be younger? Keep stock that I'm 8 years younger than my boyfriend and I think he's the bees knees...age difference is only the problem if you think it is.

I am always looking for more letters seeking advice. Your identity will not be revealed and I promise I'll reply to every single letter on the blog. At this point I'm not famous enough to worry there will ever be too many. Maybe you're a straight woman, a straight man? They seem to be under-represented so far. Email me at Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com.
Also, I'm going to be doing a financial advice column soon with the help of the blog's financial market researcher Terry Parsons (interviewed in the September 24th edition of the blog) so send in your money problems and we'll try to help. Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com -- any advice you need? I gots.

Favorite things - Beards

I quite enjoy beards. They're practical, they instantly make someone's face more attractive, they are a valuable storage place for savory crumbs and lastly they are awesome. Not lastly: I also hate shaving. Sadly,the best beard I can accomplish is fails on two counts: 1) it's patchier than Shia Labeouf on a bad day and 2) It is so light in colour that it just looks like I have some dirt on my face rather than the rugged playoff beard it's supposed to resemble.

Luckily for me (and women who have also always wanted beards) there is a solution. A beard hat:

you can sport such fashion styles as




the viking look





OR




The hobo look




Both are awesome. Unfortunately they cost $130, something faaar too expensive for a novelty that would wear off in mere moments. If hovever a reader of Mullington were to have the talents to make such a hat, I suggest they make one and send in a photo of them sporting it. Or better yet, send me the hat! I will post all beard related articles and or paraphanalia.

So in short: beards.

*** Update Oct/07/08 after NetBear called me out on where I got the hobo-beard-hat picture here's a link to the article. I know my readership has a large Bear fan base, though if someone could please explain the difference between bear, otter, polar bear, blah blah blah it would be appreciated. Like how come Daniel Radcliffe counts as a bear on this website? It the criterion now: anyone with body hair? My readership wants to know. And on that count I invite all my readers to write me at Ian_Mullan@hotmail.com.

Dance Party - life's been busy.

short dance party.

but really, need there be another song?

Events - Pop Explode!

The schedule is here! Even if you work early mornings, even if you hate live awesome music you need to go. Now I know what you're thinking: Ian, there are SO many shows I can't be in two places at once so can you just give me a run-down of where I should be each night? And keep in mind I'm livin' on a budget. And to you I will say--okay.

Night one- Tuesday October 21st
You're going to be going to Gus's Pub up at the corner of North and Agricola. It's six bucks for some stack-up bands and I don't really want you to break the bank on the Marquee right away. CR Avery from Vancouver, Modern Boys Modern Girls and Don Vail from the GTA, and Smothered in Hugs from Charlottetown. Some quality beats to get you out of your seat from across Canada.
Even if you don't go, go to their pages and listen to the music-they deserve a listen.

Night two- Wednesday October 22nd
Josh a friend and future father is playing at Gus's with the VKNGS. They are loud. I feel the need to give a shout out. Please check them out, if you enjoy them you may "choose your own adventure" and divert from my suggestions just this once. They may shake Gus's from its foundations. But if you don't want to deal with the loud party just yet, hold onto your hat they are my recommendation for Friday.
Otherwise, we're headed to The Seahorse on Argyle Street to see Grand Analog for six dollars...well, you are. I'm probably taking the evening off. And by off, I mean working and then going home to bed. He sounds like a quality party and although you will have an increased likelyhood of running into women who persue younger men (known as a "cougars"), it is worth the danger of being bitten.

Night three- Thursday October 23rd
You're going to the Marquee! Going, going, going to the Marquee! Downstairs to Hell's Kitchen! Look I'm not going to make up your mind for you in this case because downstairs or upstairs I don't really think you've made a bad decision.
Upstairs is going to run you $16adv/$20door which is why I suggest downstairs for $6, you're trying to see as much as possible right? You still want to head out Saturday night right? But if you still think upstairs is where it's at you'll get to see Murder Sounds, Code Pie, INSTRUMENTS, Windom Earle, and Holy Fuck. Is it worth it? Yeah it's pretty worth it. But so is downstairs for half price where you'll see Matt Reid and Friends, Pete Samples, the outrageous A/V (who I have seen play wildly for 15 people-he is committed to his craft), the Beginners, and the "better than upstairs" Superfantastics. Thursday promises equal party.

Night four- Friday October 24th
You're not drinking tonight, because you're going to an all-ages party. Don't try to pick up either unless you're also interested in jail time. There will probably be some young-ins at this $6 partial recreation of the documentary 6015 Willow taking place at the North Street Church (no longer a church, so satanists need not fear combustion). Here you will see an odd assortment: The Go to Get Got, VKNGS(with previously mentioned Josh Kogon), The Maynards (who will always have a little piece of my heart), and Play Guitar. It will equal awesome.

Night five- Saturday October 25th
Good you didn't drink last night because today's "night" is beginning in the AM! You're waking up to boot your bottom to the 'Just Friends Brunch' taking place at Gus's pub. $5 for admission $6-7.50 for breakfast this is a cute fust you can drag your mom-who 'hates staying up late but misses the music'-to. Playing will be Laura Peek, Mike Evin, and The Stance (the last band I ever saw while still in University back in Sackville). Delicious. And it's at a bar so some people indulge in a morning drink--if you really hated your previous night's sobriety now's when to catch up.
And for the closing night, to kiss it all goodbye, to finish the evening, the week, the excitement you are going back to the Marquee and partying late like a good kid. Ruby Coast, The Got to Get Got (who you may have seen last night), Sebastien Grainger, and Islands. This is the night to go to see the next big thing. This is the night I went in 2004 to see Arcade Fire just before they ate the world. CBC Radio 3 will be there recording, and there's always something being given away--I got a CD last year! If you go no other night, go this night. $13adv/$18 door.

Okay. I'm telling you early so you can prepare, save up sleep and be ready. Because you need to be ready to Explode!

Story Time - Jack and Jill

I started writing scenes for a two-hander about fraternal twins a while ago. Here's a scene:

JILL: What are you doing?

JACK: I'm throwing out the dishes. They're dirty, I'm throwing them out.

JILL: You're not washing the dishes?

JACK: No I'm not washing the dishes.

JILL: They're not paper dishes Jack.
|
JACK: No, they're not.
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JILL: You can't just throw out perfectly good dishes.
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JACK: But they're not my dishes, they're mom's and mom isn't washing them so I'm throwing them out.

JILL: We should give them away.

JACK: Who wants dirty dishes?

JILL: We'd clean them.

JACK: Who?

JILL: Us.

JACK: They're not my dishes. I don't do other people's dishes.

JILL: They're mom's.

JACK: Exactly, they're mom's and if mom had washed them before she'd left and put them in a box and brought them to the salvation army...
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JILL: Why can't we do them? That that's what good kids would--

JACK: Good kids listen to their mother Jillian.

JILL: And what was her advice for these dishes?
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JACK: That they would be dirty. That was how she left them and that is how they will stay, for all eternity, in a dump. Along with her salt and pepper collection.

JILL: No!

JACK: Well you weren't going to keep them.

JILL: No, but I thought --No, stop it--I thought of them as a, I don't know...

JACK: We don't want them Jill I guarantee the next generation won't want them any more. If you keep something for long enough you start thinking it's important. Even if it's junk.

JILL: It's nostalgic.

JACK: It's what homeless people do. Should we start collecting broken faced dolls, pop cans, and old newpapers?
|
JILL: Fuck off. Have you filed a missing person's report?

JACK: I don't think there's a person to report.

JILL: Then why are you throwing out her stuff?

JACK: I haven't been here in weeks, you haven't been here in weeks. Who's to say no one's been here in a couple of weeks?

JILL: The dishes would have been moldier.

JACK: You're right, maybe mom went on a business trip. Infirm elderly agoraphobics often go on business trips and leave their dishes in the sink. If she comes back she's not staying here and if she doesn't? There's no need to draw attention to our neglect.

JILL: We're awful children.

News - Your election candidates! (if you're me)

If you're a Haligonian-- REAL Halifax not over in Dartmouth-- then these are probably your candidates as well. If you're not certain or you have come to realize that you are not living in Halifax you can check for your candidates here. It's a little confusing: first enter your postal code and click "go" you'll be taken to a second screen, on the right under candidates click "who are the candidates in my electoral district?"

This year the government has created this handy website where you can also find out "how many candidates are men and how many are women?" (2 women, 3 men) I ask: what about the trans people? Where are Ted Larson's rights I ask you? Not that I'm implying Ted is Trans, I'm just asking: are certain he's not? ... He's not. Don't come after me Ted.

LARSEN, Ted (Conservative)
Thankfully he is better than the original candidate the conservatives chose for this riding. You know, the one who was an ex-criminal and was caught stealing from the All Women Empowerment Organization she founded? Because nothing says empowerment like "$84,000 in cheques written to herself."
No, Ted is not half-bad. Halifax has been his home for 37 year and his photos show him as a bit of a sheepish guy. His blog is very succinct in its single entry and he kinda gets the picture that Halifax will not be choosing him in the upcoming election. Void of any information his website is geared more towards the party itself. Ted's issues are the party's issues, if you don't like the party don't vote for him. Thanks Ted, I won't.

LESLIE, Megan (NDP-New Democratic Party)
Megan has only lived in the city for seven years. Coming in the wake of Alexa Mcdonough former queen of the NDP party, she has big shoes to fill. She has a pretty swanky website though including a radio call in show she did on the 23rd and an impressive resume of volunteer and outreach work.
Respect if you vote for her--she's in my consideration. Her biggest issue right now though is her lack of visibility. Having only just won leader of the riding no one really knows who she is. In some ways I wonder if the similarly named Alexis MacDonald had won the candidacy people would have thought it was still headed by the former leader when they saw the ticket.

MEADE, Catherine (Liberal)
In a normal equal world I would be bedazzled by Catherine Meade. Not only is her last name a delicious alcoholic beverage (Honey Mead) which is, in part, the origin to the word "Honeymoon" but she also does such awesome things as show up to the market on Saturday morning to talk to people, she's a lesbian (and those bitches know how to get stuff done), and she is the daughter of a Baptist minister. Mostly I include the last one because I love the concept of raising my hands and shaking in church and not be told "you're making a scene".
My conundrum is the Liberal party campaign with headlines posted on their site reading"Can't Believe Steve": Why Harper Foreign Policy Fails the Test, Harper copied John Howard's speech on Iraq, Liberals launch new social networking website – i.liberal.ca, Statement from the Honourable Stéphane Dion on the challenges in global capital markets, Conservatives in culture damage control mode. Okay that is three attacks on the conservatives, one launch of a social networking site (which will only contain liberals? what are they going to do message eachother on how they all agree?), and a SINGLE article on policy.
I still really like her, I know that a campaign can't run without attacks so we can see how they stack up against eachother, and the NDP are flailing at coming up with practical plans since they've never been in power. But at the end of the day this riding is going to the Liberals or NDP, unless we accidentally split the vote and Madame Larson wins.

SEED, Tony (Marxist-Leninist)
Some students with a sense of irony or humour may vote for this guy but I'm not even going to give him a serious run-down. Lenin was mummified, Marx rocked a beard that would make Shia Leboeuf green with bad teenage beard syndrome envy.

WHETTER, Darryl (Green Party)
He's a creative writing prof at Dal. Seems perfectly nice. I wish him all the best and hope he gets some votes.

And that's it! Now all you have to do is make up your mind and vote October 14th. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me who you vote for just that you do. If you don't live in this riding, look up who is in your riding. Sometimes the NDP candidate is terrible, sometimes they're a friend. Sometimes the liberal candidate is in trouble with the law. Vote for the candidate. They'll be representing you. I argree mostly with voting for the party, but if the candidate is terrible they'll probably 1) not win and 2) be awful at representing you if they do win.

Rock the vote.